The Earl’s Last Dance Page 3
“Why would I bump you on purpose?”
“To get my attention. You have finally progressed to assault as a means of wooing me.”
“You can not be serious.”
“As serious as you are with your own theories about headwear.” She smiled for the first time that day. “You look good.”
He was taken aback by the comment. “So assault has worked for you as a tactic?”
“Not in the way that you mean. Even after all these years, it seems as if you have not aged. That is all.”
“And you have only grown prettier.”
Jane blushed. “I am sure I look the same as the last time we met.”
“Ah, yes. On a terrace at a dinner party. I try not to think about that evening at all.”
“Why not? It was a lovely event.”
“It was the night you broke my heart, Miss Jane.”
“I did nothing of the sort. We do not know each other well enough for such strong emotion.”
Brisby shook his head. “You have always had these ideas about how things have to be. That love can not be instant.”
Lightning flashed across the sky above them. It was a few more seconds before the thunder rolled. Jane jumped.
“It’s only a storm,” he continued. “And love can develop quickly. Hearts can be broken by people you do not know well. Constant cuts from you have become humiliating, indeed.”
“I have never cut you. We have always been cordial with each other.”
“Constantly walking out on someone is not cordial at all.”
“On the night we were introduced, my chaperone ushered me away. I could hardly help that.”
“And every other time? Why are you so afraid to give me a chance?”
“Because you are a rake. It is well known.”
He shook his head. “I have had that reputation since the night I met you, and not a moment before.”
“I could not have been the first young lady you ruined with a kiss.”
“You were the only one I wanted to kiss. I had no designs on ruination.”
“And I know that I have not been the last. Your escapades are well known among the ton.”
“Once I was branded a rake, there was no escaping it. No hope of being taken seriously as anything else. You think I ruined you? You ruined me right back.”
Jane dropped her hands to her sides, flailing them out as she spoke. “Our circumstances are not even remotely similar. My prospects for marriage were very slim because of that moment with you. I tried for years to run away from it.”
“Then stop running. We are here now.”
He bridged the gap between them with determined steps that caught her off guard. Then his hand was on her cheek again, and his lips found hers. Jane’s knees buckled as he kissed her more passionately than he had in that cloakroom those many years ago. She closed her eyes and was transported back to when she was so very young with him. Her heart raced. It had taken all that time to realize what she wanted was right in front of her. Jane pushed him away then glanced around, guiltily. People stared, aghast at the display.
“Have you gone mad? We are in public!”
“I have finally come to a place in life where I really do feel scandal proof,” he said. “And we have wasted too much time.”
“Well, I am not. We will be asked to leave if you continue.”
“I do not care.”
“And it is too late for us to be together.”
“It is never too late to correct what has gone wrong in the past. Only death or acquiescence may stop anyone.”
“Or marriage proposals. I have received one recently.”
Brisby threw his hands in the air and raised his voice. “Why go down that road again? It was not for you.”
“Because I have no desire to live life as a spinster. And how could you guess what might suit me? We barely know each other.”
“We have known each other for years.”
“Only in passing. You can not decide anything about me by it.”
“That first kiss told me everything I needed. The last one made me sure.”
“It will be the last one you ever get from me. It has to be.” Jane only turned halfway from him. Something held her there.
“How well do you really know anyone? How well do you know your betrothed? People are a mystery, even to themselves.”
“What are your true intentions, Lord Brisby? I have often wondered about them.”
“You asked me that before.”
“I did not believe the answer you gave.”
“Then you will like this one even less. They are simple.” He maneuvered himself to be in front of her, looking into her eyes again. “Here are my intentions. I have been nothing but honest with your for the last decade of my life.”
“Honest about what?”
“Everything.”
“This from a man with such a reputation?”
“You gave me my reputation, and I gave you yours. What sort of ridiculous rake am I supposed to be? I have been chasing you for years.”
“Because I am the woman you could never have,” she said.
“You are the woman I wanted. It is exactly as I told you in that ballroom. I want you, Miss Jane, despite what good sense tells me. And for some reason, you keep entertaining the notion of wanting me too.”
“I do nothing of the sort. I speak to you cordially but do not entertain any notions.”
“Just passionate kisses, banter, and obvious desire. That sounds like a notion to me.”
“Does any of it matter now? When I have already promised myself to another?”
“Do you love him?”
“What kind of thing to ask is that?”
“The most important thing in the world,” said Brisby. “The same question I asked you about the last gentleman who you dismissed soon after. Do you love him?”
“I suppose I must.”
“Do not give me the answer society expects! Not at a time like this. What is the truth? Do you love him?”
“No, all right? I do not know him well enough to love him. But this is my last chance.”
“Do you love me?”
Jane looked away, not ready to answer such a question.
“Do you?” he said again, softly. “Have you thought of me throughout the years?”
“Yes, I have.”
“Fondly?”
“Yes.”
“In what way?”
“Why are you doing this?” said Jane.
“What am I doing?”
“Saying things that can not lead anywhere good.”
“Because I’m a barbarian.”
“I have never known you as such.”
“Courtesy only gets you so far,” said Brisby. “I am a man at the end of a relationship, and I need to know right now how fondly you have thought of me.”
“It is a relationship, isn’t it? An eccentric, combustible, undeniable bond that has lasted for years. I find you quite agreeable, my lord. But I wonder about the gossip you inspire. We may have doomed each other with a kiss, but what did you do with that reputation? How many hearts have you broken?”
Dark clouds burst above them, and rain pounded down on the skylights of the Bond Street Bazaar. Brisby watched the large drops fall.
“What if every story you have ever heard is true?” he finally said.
“What if? What if? What if my aunt had a beard? She would be my uncle, instead.”
Brisby twisted his face at the thought. “And he would have an extremely odd style of dress.”
“That is not the point.”
“It is one that forces you to smile. Sometimes that is good enough.”
“Not now. All we can deal with is who we both have become. These blasted reputations. I want a real answer, not to hear you say, what if.”
“So I am a scoundrel and you, an ape leader. Does it make a difference now?”
“Pardon me?” Jane’s mouth dropped open. “I am temporarily on the
shelf, that is all. And at the moment, I am not even that. The current engagement will go through.”
“It has no chance of success.”
“That is a horrid thing to wish for.”
“It was not a wish. Simply a prediction. It has no chance because you think of me so fondly.”
“That is not enough to base anything on.”
“What more is there to want?”
“I wish you were a better man.”
Brisby tilted his chin down, grinning bitterly. “That was such a callous thing to say.”
Jane wanted to reach out for him but forced her hands down. “It was. It was the worst thing I have ever said to anyone.”
“Then why should I be your victim?”
“I am sorry. You did not deserve that.”
“Good luck.”
“With what?”
“In life. I am finally through with this particular dance.” Brisby gave a shallow bow. “Good luck with finding some other fool who will chase you for so long. Someone who will care for the person he caught glimpses of, even after years have passed.”
“That girl you met at a ball does not exist anymore. She was torn apart by scandal. What is left to care for?”
“Ask your future husband.”
“I am asking you.”
“Does it matter? In the end, you are a mystery too. We could have unraveled it together once. We really could have. Goodbye, Miss Jane. Have a fine life.”
Brisby turned sharply and walked away from her, weaving through the crowd at the Bond Street Bazaar. This parting would be different. It was final. Jane felt it in her heart as she stood there alone. With each resolute clunk of his boot over the smooth floor, another little piece of her dissolved. She watched him getting farther into the crush until he almost disappeared. Then she began to run.
“Wait!” she called after him, hoping he would stop.
Lord Brisby never turned back. Jane was not oblivious to all the people who were staring at her as she chased the man, causing quite the scene. But this meant her whole life. She didn’t care about whatever the beau monde would think. It was her happiness at stake. For once, she would trust her own instincts about it.
He walked swiftly, but she was catching up. Hard footfalls got closer behind him. After everything she’d put him through, he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of stopping. He wouldn’t let her do it to him again. Jane darted in front of her quarry, breathing heavily. Their eyes connected. Brisby gave her the courtesy of a quick nod before deftly stepping past and continuing the pace.
“Is that really how you want to end everything?” she said.
He sighed before turning around. “I want to end this however it has to end. I am tired, Miss Jane. After chasing you for over a decade of my life, and always to the same conclusion, I am extremely tired.”
“I am allowed to have my own feelings. That is all I have been doing through the years.”
“And I may have mine. Today I feel as if I have no interest in watching you walk out on me again. If you want to marry someone else so much, then do it.”
“You are sensitive for a rakehell.”
“And you are antagonistic for a lady on the marriage mart.”
“That first encounter frightened me more than anything.” She blurted it out. “It was delightfully thrilling yet very fast.”
“Haven’t you ever done something just because the moment took you?”
“No. That is what a chaperone is there for. To restrict the moments.”
“Then you had a poor chaperone. We had ours anyway.”
“That was something different. Something special.”
“Most people live their entire lives and never experience anything like that,” said Brisby. “It is why I have not given up on you.”
“So do not give up on me now.”
“Why? So I can watch your back as you leave?”
“No. So we can finish the dance. I have no chaperone today.”
He smiled. “I have always been sad that our cotillion ended too soon.”
“We can make up for it.”
“You can not fix everything.”
“How about just this?” She stepped closer to him.
“There is no music.”
“There has always been music when I look into your eyes, my lord. That is why I fell so easily on that first night.”
Her gloved hand was interlaced with his as they faced each other on the bazaar floor. She squeezed him as they remembered the cotillion that was started years before. It was the most subtle way there was to really show interest and affection. That tantalizing, secret pressure applied toward someone she found so very attractive.
There were no other couples around them. Brisby and Jane spun and danced together, never parting from each other. They had no more secrets to keep.
People who had ventured out for a quiet day at the shops passed by the couple, staring as if the two had escaped from Bedlam that very afternoon.
“We are creating a scene,” said Jane.
“This was your idea. You can not give up now.”
“I did not say I wanted to.” She laughed happily even as her jangled nerves forced a blush.
“Every time we meet there is some commotion.”
“And how will this one end?”
“Perhaps in the same way that began our troubles when we met.”
“Do not consider kissing me again here. It was too much earlier and would be more indecent now.”
“I know. But it is fun to consider anyway.”
They walked around each other as if they were back in that gigantic townhouse, back in their youth, staring at one another as blissfully as they did in the ballroom then.
“This will ruin me,” said Jane. “After talk of this makes its way through London, my fiance will never agree to move forward with the marriage.”
“That is no problem at all. Marry me instead.”
They both stopped where they stood. Rain still battered the skylights above them. She looked away to collect her thoughts before turning back to him.
“Yes,” said Jane.
Lord Brisby suddenly embraced her as they kissed again.
She sighed. “So much for decency.”
“The music we have will never stop. Not in a hundred years.”
“That is also how long it will take for us to ever be allowed back into the Bond Street Bazaar.”
“The bazaar? We will be lucky if we do not have to leave London after this.”
“Then why do you look so happy?”
“Because we finally finished the dance.”
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More Regency Romance By Rebecca Dash
A Duke To Steal Her Heart
A Viscount And A Scandal
A Marquess To Love And Despise
The Wrong Earl For Christmas
Baron Colburn And The Cursed Estate
The Earl, The Pirate, & The Lady
The Earl Of Scandal
The Runaway Duke
Almost A Duke, Almost My Love
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